Why Anxiety Is A Choice

Or is it?

Researchers who study emotion regulation—how we cope, or fail to cope, with the daily swirl of feelings—are discovering that many anxious people are bound and determined (though not always consciously) to cultivate anxiety. The reason, studies suggest, is that for some people anxiety boosts cognitive performance, while for others it actually feels comforting. 

Consider the search engine facts:

• People living in the United States Google “anxiety” approximately 1,830,000 on any given month.
•  “Anxiety disorder” is around 165,000.
• “Anxiety symptoms” averages just over 100,000.

One has to wonder if we need access to all this anxiety information? Are we so pressed for time that we don’t always make the most informed decisions regarding our mental health?

Regardless of the search engines, and access to technology, anxiety remains one of the most common reasons for visiting a therapist.

So, if people seek out therapy for symptoms of anxiety, panic attacks, and social anxiety, they don’t want to feel anxious right? You’re not trying to convince me this is ‘all in my head,’ are you?

Not exactly. But stick with me, my fair-weathered and healthily skeptical friend…

We all feel anxious from time to time. But if you worry so much that you can’t enjoy anything, your anxiety hinders your daily functioning. Doctors call this illness generalized anxiety disorder. No one knows for sure why certain people are more prone to experiencing anxiety symptoms, and panic attacks. There are certain individuals with a genetic predisposition to a more active central nervous system. And you can thank your parents Frazzled-Nerves-Nan and Always-Addled-Alan for that.

So you’re saying I’m doomed, right? You therapists are always slapping labels on us. Must be to propagate the Counseling Cash Cow…

No comment right now, Projective Pat. Let’s defer to the research:

Composite case in point:

Anxious Ana comes to therapy due to extreme stress in her relationship with Depressed Dan. Although high functioning, well-educated, and professionally competent, Anxious Ana has problems focusing on the 9-5, questions her identity and purpose, and her future with Depressed Dan.

Anxious Ana: I’ve always been this way. I guess I’m just one of those people who are meant to live in a state of flux. Also, I just function better when stressed, and under the gun.

Psychotherapist: Can you explain ‘state of flux’ and ‘under the gun?’

Anxious Ana: Well, you know, I’m always stressed out, worried when the other shoe will drop. I think in some way, I don’t deserve to be happy. Sometimes my anxiety works for me, though. I may be up until 4:00 a.m. for that 8:30 a.m. deadline, but I always get the job done.

Psychotherapist: Wow. That sounds like a lot of energy you’re expending. What does your stress and unhappiness communicate in behavioral terms? For example, when you feel anxious and depressed, are you able to get out of the bed in the morning? How’s your relationship with your co-workers?

Anxious Ana: Oh, yeah. I always get out of bed. It doesn’t mean I’m happy about it, but I worry about not being able to pay the bills, and disappointing my clients. My colleagues don’t seem to get too annoyed, except when I freak out that things aren’t perfect. Also, I’m supporting Depressed Dan. He has a ton of issues, and sometimes I don’t know which version will walk through the door on any given evening.

Psychotherapist: Hmmm. Let’s put Depressed Dan on-hold for a while. Now, let’s say you wake up tomorrow morning without the physical anxiety symptoms of heart palpitations, sweating, trembling, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, chest discomfort, nausea, vomiting, fear of losing control, or going crazy. What would you feel then?

Anxious Ana: OMG. Whoa. Bored. Maybe calm, I don’t know. But probably more empty.

Psychotherapist: I see.

Anxious Ana: It’s not like I’m happy living like this, you know. I know my life and I’ve tried everything. And not to disrespect your profession, but I find those breathing exercises, and visualization scripts kinda cheesy. The butterfly on the chest image doesn’t help me feel less stressed.

Psychotherapist: I understand your depression and anxiety are real. These feelings are painful and very disrupting to your job, your relationship, and your emotional well-being. You deserve treatment for your anxiety and depression, for sure. I heard when you said you’ve tried everything you know to try and change. What if you considered things I know about changing the course of depression and anxiety? Would you be willing to try some new coping skills? Can we add flexibility to the mix?

Say, for example, you switched your negative thinking and limiting beliefs with, “I don’t have to live with anxiety and fear. I could choose to see my situation in a more positive and realistic light. I don’t have to settle for this relationship with Depressed Dan. Perhaps, there’s a relationship out there more healthy and complimentary to my self-worth? And, why is the 30/70 ratio of happiness to misery okay?” Are there choices in here?

Anxious and Increasingly Frustrated Ana: Again, Doc, it’s not like I said I was happy with this anxiety thing.

Psychotherapist: I didn’t  say you were happy with your anxiety.

 ***

Please help the Anxious Ana and Anxious Art in all of us:

What’s your advice regarding the assertion that anxiety is a choice?    

Do you belive some people “need” anxiety, or want to feel anxious?  

Your voice matters!

I’m calling on the silent partners here who read every week, but remain quiet.

Please leave your comments in the box below.

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Have a great week:)

~Linda

{Photo: Aristotles via Flickr}